Change is Inevitable

There comes a time in every persons life when you take a step back look at your life & think is this what makes me happy. And if not what changes do I need to make?
In my case, it has been a choice of as to whether or not to continue competitive bodybuilding. And I have come to the decision that I no longer feel the need to do this in my life. A prep for me is a total of 16 weeks, during this time I personally put my whole life on hold. I become a robot, EAT.. SLEEP.. TRAIN.. REPEAT.. Furthermore, I don't want my life on "hold" anymore.
Was it worth it competing all these years? YES.. I gained such great self confidence, met tons of people, even made a few close friends. Got to shoot with some great photographers! All of this I will carry for me forever.
Now don't get me wrong, I will still be in the gym atleast 4-5 days a week training as hard as I possible can. My love for the gym & the fact that I like to train will never leave. But If there is ever a day I don't feel like training ... well I won't, & I won't feel guilty about it in return. I look forward to doing different kinds of training, I will enjoy adding more variety.
A challenge for me now is being able to maintain the same type of confidence that competing gave me. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm still as confident as I have been but I'm not. But I will get there again, without competing.
On the flip side of things I'm looking forward to Oct 17th the day I will be getting married. I look forward to what the future holds with that. And I look forward to supporting my future husband as he continues to compete.
4 more weeks till my wedding day!

I'm Getting Married

Yayy! Yes, it's true. I am getting married on October 24th, 2009. Yes-that is this year!
Aside from this big news I just got back from a beach trip which was so much fun & relaxing. Today I will get back in the gym from my vacation. Can't be lazy forever!

NC State Middleweight Champion 09 :)

After a long break it's time to get back in the gym today for a chest workout! I'm ready to get to it! I competed on April 18th & won the middlweight class which was awesome & I was so sykked. I didn't win overall but it's ok I worked really hard & did all I could do I feel so that's good enough for me! So I was originally planning on doing Jr Usas in May but actually decided to wait. I am looking forward to competing nationally but my body needed to rest. I didn't have the drive & motivation I needed to keep going with that. Sooooo... So now it's time to get back in the gym, things are way more relaxed than before. So yeah really really ready to get in the gym. And now I will have more time to update this blog so that's cool too :) Ok so attached is a pic after the entire show was over that night & also a video of my posing routine.. ENJOY!

It's all good :)

I've woken up this morning with a sweet sweet feeling of calmness. I don't know how or why I feel like this but I love it because over the past few days I have been so anxious it is ridiculous. Although I still didn't get much sleep last night, it's still ok. Today is my last day of cardio & last day of weight training. I also start with the first two coats of protan tonight ... yayyyyyyy!

6 Days to go to NC State!

Happy Easter! And it's also about that time! I have 6 more days to go, yes I said days. My journey, well this journey is winding down to the NC State & I am glad. I'm ready to relax for a few days although if I qualify I do plan on doing jr nationals in Charleston, SC in May which means about 5 more weeks after next week. But it's all good!
At the top of this blog is a favorite pic of mine from a shoot I did at the Arnold with Genex.

2009 Light @ the End of the Tunnel!!

Ok so 08 for me... well I could say it was a wasted year... But then again not really because I learned a ton about myself & people around me. So we will just sum it up as a learning year for me.
As for the bodybuilding aspect of the year, well I trained hard yet had a few periods where I didn't & even thought about giving it up! OMG yes I just said that, but don't worry it didn't take long for me to figure out that giving up is definitely something I will never do.
I feel as though I recieve alot of crap from people about being a female bodybuilder, & like an idiot I let those people get in my head. When I shouldn't have. Even my family for gosh sake.... & to the member of the family who said I would never make anything of this... well THANK YOU because you lit a fire up my a$$ & now I will work even harder just to prove you wrong.... I mean come on? Isn't family supposed to be your biggest support system?!?
Ok so I will shut up about that, I also had three photoshoots in 08, the first for HerBiceps & if was alot of fun, my very first photoshoot & in offseason shape. But it was still fun! They made me feel comftorable, we even did some video clips ... along w/ an interview & a bit of armwrestling >>>LOL!!
Second shoot was with Dan Ray with whom I don't even have words to describe how amazing he is... I'll attach a few to this post for your viewing pleasures... Oh & also Jerroll Figg who is such a sweet heart will attach a few of his pics too.
Ok so to bring things up to date I'm 11 weeks out as of yesterday from the NC State & I'm working as hard as possible. I don't wanna look back & think , Is there anything I could of done? I want to know I gave it my all! & I will!
Oh & something else I'm soooo excited about! I'm going to the Arnold, have a few shoots lined up there as well. & I'll actually be in contest shape for these! Wahoo! I can't wait sooooo excited.
As for right now it's business as usual!
Today @ the gym.... Chest & possibly triceps... I'm considering giving bi's & tri's there own day so I can focus on them more!@
Ok well time 2 eat!